Who You Exclude Shapes Your Work

The clearer your focus, the more meaningful your work is for the right people, as well as for those it’s not intended for.

When you try to appeal to everyone, your message loses depth. Conversations begin to lack substance, you drift into what has already been done, and connections become fleeting.

Seth Godin articulates this well: “It’s more important to be the best in a specific category than to aim for broad, generic appeal.” The challenge is to move past the default setting of welcoming everyone and recognise that exclusion, when it’s done fairly and intentionally, is a worthwhile strategy.

One thing is certain: you will never run out of strangers.

The work we create often leads us to think in terms of scale. Whether we are renting advertising space for greater exposure, aiming for a wider reach on social media, or aspirations to go viral, our goal can be to maximise our numbers.

Mass appeal results in a watered-down identity. It’s a party playlist trying to keep everyone happy.

I want to make it hard for people to get in. This means that when people do step in, there is a feeling of exclusivity. It’s my way of saying, ‘I’ve created this for you, do you want to come?’ It doesn’t necessarily have to involve money; it could simply require providing an email address to receive a newsletter.

Over the years, I have learned that people with a shared vision will come together when the time is right for them.

I’ve always believed that we can build our lives on our own terms, without being overly reliant on algorithms and advertisements. We don’t have to conform; we can connect with others who appreciate us for who we truly are.

Take YATM Creator Day. In the past, my instinct was that success was based on everyone to come. After all, that’s what makes an event successful, right? But experience has shown me that the right audience is far more valuable than a large one. For me, this is around 250, not dreaming of 1,000+

The attendees are predominantly made up of subscribers to the Thursday newsletter which has an audience size of 2,000. This has helped create a sense of familiarity among people. As a result, an unwritten etiquette develops, where attendees are likely to meet like-minded people. This is different from going to an event where someone may have an agenda to network and sell to as many people as possible, where they have no affiliation to what YATM represents. That starts to create an uneven playing field. 

As the day progresses, we take the time to come together and get to know one another better. For those who are not interested in forming deeper connections and friendships, Creator Day may not be the right fit. There are other events that focus solely on presentations from start to finish.

When the wrong people participate, the experience changes. By contrast, when the right people come together, they lean in, collaborate, and form lasting relationships.

The 2025 Creator Day theme is ‘relevance,’ which perfectly encapsulates this idea. We are not here for everyone, nor should we be. YATM is about ownership, interdependence, experimentation, support and community. That means defining who we are not for is just as important as defining who we are for.

Social scientists have studied the role of exclusivity in building strong communities. Richard Florida, author of The Rise of the Creative Class, found that communities benefit when they embrace shared values, distinctiveness, and have a clear identity.

I have learned over the years with YATM that belonging isn’t about being universally accepted or fitting what the industry expects from you, it’s about finding your people who accept you as you are. 

The paradox of inclusion is that it’s strengthened by exclusion; when people see that a space is designed for them specifically, they engage more fully.

Let me explain what I mean:

Gated access (such as Lunch Clubs, Creator Day) this ensures that people have a genuine interest in being part of the community. I want to avoid situations where people can choose not to attend free events at the last minute.

A distinct tone and energy. YATM is not a buttoned-up B2B networking group; it’s creative, high-energy, and built around participation. For instance, at Lunch Club we start with a challenge. To a lot of people this isn’t for them and has been commented to me that this is at a business event is ‘childish and frivolous.’ To me, that’s perfect.

A clear philosophy. We emphasise a DIY approach to marketing and building communities outside of algorithm-driven platforms. If you’re all-in on living your life on social media to meet people, YATM might not be the right fit.

When you can define exclusion, you become clear on who belongs. 

Rather than viewing the people who unsubscribe or choose not to commit as a loss, they should be seen as a natural filter.

Here are some key questions to clarify who you work is for:

What makes you share distinct? (What’s personal about it?)

What belief or experience shaped your approach? (How did you arrive at this perspective?)

What emotions drive your work? (What values do you want to uphold?)

Why does your message matter? (What impact do you want to make and how does it look?)

Are you pushing yourself to do your greatest ever work? (Are you challenging norms and trying to figure it all out or playing it safe?)

These questions help clarify your identity and ensure that you’re building for the right people, not just the largest crowd.

Here’s how to apply this principle in your work:

1. Set Clear Boundaries

Define who your work is for—and who it’s not for.

WHY?

2. Create a Safe, Aligned Space

A strong community is one where people feel at home.

WHY?

3. Keep Returning To Your Core Reason

Your idea or mission should be an anchor.

WHY?

4. Focus On Keeping Away From The Pack

You have to resist the urge to blend in.

WHY?

5. Expand Your Perspective, But Stay True to Your Core

As your work evolves, you provide a valid reason for new people to find you.

WHY?

6. Don’t Be Afraid to Break the Mold

When you believe in something deeply, stand by it.

WHY?

Instead of feeling guilty about exclusion, use it as an opportunity to strengthen connections.

While communities and businesses strive for inclusivity, true belonging comes from selectivity.

As reach is seen as utopia for so many people, consider this: the most impactful hosts are those who curate their guest list, ensuring that everyone in the room shares the same energy, enthusiasm, and commitment. This way, everyone gets a chance to contribute.

Fair exclusion is not about shutting people out, it’s about creating the right environment where the right people can feel a part of the whole experience.